Sexual Assault – It’s Not Your Shame

As things was in store, I was thinking of talking about RAPE!!! and sexual assault for a long time. Yes I know, it’s still a taboo word for us, because good people don’t utter such bad words. But I’m not quiet known to be good, specially when thinks start spiraling out of control. Why I’m saying this ? Because, 2017 started with a number of molestation and different type of sexual assaults on women of Bangalore on NYE (Morning shows the day!! Ehh ?). And everytime such incident takes place, all the focus shifts to decide whose fault is this than how to fix the situation by providing woman safety.

As my favourite lawyer said, there’s no place for women in women society (Yes, the great ML Sharma, the defence lawyer in Jyoti Singh rape case, Delhi). Because come on women are baby vending machine, who should be  giving in to patriarch ideologies and firmly believe that serving her husband, and provide sex whenever her husband asks for it, is her only ticket to heaven. And she should mommify herself (well they haven’t actually said that, but women get sexually harassed independent of short dress or burkha. So may be wrapping them up in bandage will provide a solution). Well, let me cut the humor down from here on and come straight to the point.

Who should we blame if certain woman gets sexually assaulted ? her clothes ? her upbringing ? her modern outlook? or the person doing this ? Say for example, a thief enters your house; who will you blame ? I hope you’ll blame the thief (women reading this, don’t get agitated with the analogy. I know it’s no where close. But I was inappropriately touched and grouped in public transports as a kid, even by certain close relative). So if a woman gets sexually assaulted, molested, grouped or raped, why do we blame her? what gives a man the right to decide that he can inappropriately touch her, or rape her (for the extreme case). No it was never a fault on the part of the women. Because, if a man decides not to do the same, how will you explain that. the one and only person to be blamed in such cases, is the offender, never the other way around.

And now speaking to the women, why do you think it is your shame if someone assaults you? what makes you think that. It was never meant to be your shame. Our society taught us to think, that if you get molested or raped, that’s the end of a your reputation, modesty. But is it seriously so? does a woman’s reputation lie in her vagina? I haven’t seen yet. But I have seen women building their reputation through their actions. I have seen quiet a few badass women, in my lifetime, who never shied away from being vocal regarding all the wrong things. I for myself, once gifted a girl a knife to stick it into anyone who tries to misbehave with her, I know a friend who carries a hammer in her bag to use as a self defence tool and there are many more examples. Our society blurs out the name of a rape victim on the ground of saving her family’s reputation. But shouldn’t be the rapists family feel ashamed? So this is my earnest request to all the women out there, is, be brave, be vocal. It’s time we all say “No more”, take action, be badass, be free. Nobody has achieved freedom by just asking for it. They had to fight for it. So will you, and in this fight for getting your due rights, it’s necessary that you put society’s misinterpreted concept of shame aside, and rise above everything.

Before I end, Radio Mirchi 95.0, Bangalore has come up with a new initiative to map all the areas in Bangalore to increase security at those areas, to make the life of the women a little easier. And if you’re reading this and happen to be sexually harassed, or know someone who faced the same, anytime in past in Bangalore, please get in touch with them with time and location of such incident and they will pin the location on their map. You yourself can do that by visiting a predetermined spot on the coming weekend. Though, Radio Mirchi has the option to do it anonymously, I would request you to do this with your name, to show them that you’re not afraid anymore. Because it was never your shame, it was their’s.

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